The Goblin Market: A Look Into Our World

                                              The Goblin Market: A Look Into Our World
     On the surface level, Christina Rosetti’s “Goblin Market” tells a story of two sisters who live in a world where goblin merchants sell fruits to unsuspecting young maids. Their enticing call and intoxicating fruit, when eaten, break down the very essence of the person; the physical body shows signs of aging, and the inward spirit withers away into nothing. Laura gives in to the goblin’s call and partakes in the voluntary eating of their fruit, and she begins to wither away. Lizzie, her sister, cannot bear to see her beloved sister in such agony, and she goes to the goblins to find a cure for her sister. While she’s with the goblins, they torture her because she will not voluntarily eat the fruit, but eventually, they give up and she runs home and saves her sister. On a deeper level, however, the story parallels Christ and the sacrifices he made for us, and the fruit symbolizes the sin we partake in every day.
     The goblins cry “Come buy, come buy” (1), and this call is enough to persuade Laura. She goes against Lizzie saying “We must not look at the goblin men / We must not buy their fruit” (2) and “Their offers should not charm us, / Their evil gifts would harm us” (2). Laura cannot reason that the goblins’ fruit is bad for her, but Lizzie can. Laura gives in to the decadent fruit (1), thereby giving in to temptation and sin. Lizzie withstands the temptation and we can tie this to Matthew 4:1-11 when Jesus was tempted. Both Lizzie and Jesus withstood the temptation thrust their way unlike those around them.
     When Laura goes to the goblins to eat their fruit, they demand some form of payment, but she has nothing to give. Instead of a gold or silver coin, Laura voluntarily gives up “a golden curl” (4) from her hair. This symbolizes Laura giving up her innocence; once she gives it up, she can never have it back. By voluntarily giving up a part of herself, she can now partake in the eating of the fruit. The voluntary nature of the act suggests that the goblins will only take want is given, not taken; they will not take anything by force because there is no enjoyment in brutishly taking something, but there is revelry in taking something that is freely given. A person cannot be forced to sin; sinning is always done voluntarily.
     After Laura eats the fruit, her body and spirit begin to decay. Her hair grew “thin and grey” (8), and she “dwindled… / to swift decay and burn / her fire away” (8). Laura loses everything lively about her; her spark dies. The fruit has an evil essence and it destroys whatever it consumes. This also happened to another maid, Jeanie when she ate the fruit, and she eventually died.
     Laura can no longer hear the goblins’ cry, but Lizzie can, and the fact that Lizzie hears the cry angers Laura (7). Laura dreams of the goblins and their fruit; she can think of nothing else. She goes through withdrawals (8) even though she only ate the fruit once, and this demonstrates how powerfully evil the fruit is. It can corrupt after one use just like sin can. After committing any sin for the first time, not only do we lose our innocence, but we also get intoxicated by the feeling of pleasure from the sin like Laura does with the fruit.
     After watching Laura suffer in agony and “knocking at Death’s door” (9), Lizzie decides to take action and go to the goblins to get some fruit for Laura to ease her pain. When she gets there, however, it is not easy. She tosses her penny at the goblins and asks them to “Give me much and many” (10), but they tell her “Nay, take a seat with us, / Honour and eat with us” (11). Lizzie knows this is what Laura did, and she refuses to end up like Laura. After her refusal, the goblins become angry and “Their looks were evil” (11). They “tore her gown” (11), “soiled her stocking” (11), “twitched her hair out by the roots” (12), and “stamped upon her tender feet” (12); they terrorized Lizzie in their attempt to make her voluntarily eat the fruit. Lizzie refuses to open her mouth and drink the juice that flows down her face.
     The goblins eventually give up and Lizzie runs home to Laura having accomplished her task. When she reunites with Laura, she tells Laura to “Hug me, kiss me, suck my juices” (13) because even the juice of the fruit has the ability to make Laura feel better, and feel better she does. The sacrifice heals Laura.
     Lizzie’s symbolic role in “Goblin Market” functions as a Christ figure. Lizzie does not give in to the temptation of the fruit like Laura does. She is able to withstand the evil of the fruit. When Lizzie goes to the goblins for Laura, she does so out of sacrificial love. Like Christ on the cross, Lizzie endures beatings for the sake of the one she loves, her sister. When she returns home, Laura finds redemption in Lizzie as we do in Christ. Because of Lizzie’s sacrifice, Laura finds hope and restoration; we, as believers, find hope and restoration in Christ. Gone are the old days of suffering and sinning because of a new life found in Christ. Laura finds this in Lizzie.

The Best...if at all Possible

                                                              The Best...if at all Possible

    In life, things happen; things go wrong. Sometimes when things go wrong, they turn out to be one of the best things that could have happened. However, sometimes everything that could go wrong does go wrong and does not work out for the better. In Voltaire’s Candide, everything that could go wrong in Candide’s life does go wrong. He ends up being robbed, beaten, enslaved and ultimately ends up being completely unhappy with Cunegonde, who he thought was the love of his life. Throughout all of his struggles, Candide holds on to a seemingly wonderful philosophy of everything is the best it can be and works out for the ultimate good. His mentor Pangloss coins this phony philosophy, and it ends up bringing complete unhappiness upon Candide.
    Pangloss’ philosophy sounds good upon first hearing it. He states “It is demonstrated… that things cannot be otherwise, for, everything being made for an end, everything is necessarily for the best end” (Voltaire 2); he believes that everything will not only work out in the end but for the best end. Everything will ultimately work out in the best way because it is the best way. Everything must work out because every created thing must fulfill its purpose. He goes on to use the example that legs were designed to wear breeches, and noses were made to wear spectacles, and because of this we have breeches and spectacles (Voltaire 2), but this example completely derails this philosophy. His reasoning is complete nonsense. Just because two things have something in common does not mean that they were made for each other. There would still be legs if breeches were never invented and noses would still exist even if spectacles were never invented. Two seemingly similar things do not always have to go together or compliment each other. Pangloss bases his philosophy on faulty and nonsensical logic.
    Even with his faulty reasoning, his philosophy still sounds good. Right? But what happens when things take a turn for the worse and do not yield a positive outcome? The basic plot of Candide is essentially everything bad happening and not working out for the best. Candide, Pangloss’ naive student, takes everything, especially his philosophy, seriously, and it does not always serve Candide well. One example is when Candide kills an old friend, Cunegonde’s brother. Candide kills his old friend because he refuses to allow Candide to marry Cunegonde, his sister. Enraged, Candide draws his sword and “thrust[s] it up to the hilt in the Jesuit Baron’s belly” (Voltaire 37), but as soon as he withdraws his sword from the Baron, he begins to weep. He exclaims, “I have killed my former master, my friend, my brother-in-law; I am the kindest man in the world, and here I am killing three men already, and two of the three are priests” (Voltaire 37), and he still believes himself to be a good person. Candide enters into an inner battle within himself. He has a hard time reconciling this murder with Pangloss' “everything works out for the best” philosophy.
    If, as Pangloss claims, everything happens for the best end, and Candide is in his best form, then his murderous actions are justified. He should experience no remorse or shame, but embrace the fact that the murder is the best end. But he does not believe it is the best end. Murder is never the best end because a person dies, and that is not the best outcome. He realizes that because murder is not the best possible outcome, he is therefore not his best possible self.
    Candide is robbed, beaten, and enslaved throughout Candide. What is the purpose of Candide’s suffering and misfortune? At the end of Candide, Pangloss tells Candide “All events are linked together in the best of all possible worlds...if you had not given the Baron a great blow with your sword...you would not be here eating candied citrons and pistachios” (Voltaire 96), and Pangloss is saying that everything bad had to happen in order for Candide to live the luxurious life he now lives. However, Candide does not live a happy life because he is miserable with Cunegonde, who is now his wife. He does not live his best possible outcome, which would be to live a happy and joyous life.
    Earlier, Pangloss states “for after all I am a philosopher, it is not fitting for me to recant…and besides, pre-established harmony is the finest thing in the world” (Voltaire 90), and Pangloss refuses to accept the foolishness of his philosophy. At the end of the story, Pangloss’s philosophy proves false because Candide is not living his best life or his best possible outcome. He again refuses to accept the fact that his philosophy does not support their current situation.
    The only way to truly live our best end is in Christ because He is the only way to true happiness. John 14:6 states “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” (ESV), and Pangloss’ teaching does not line up with the Bible. Just because bad things happen, and do not always produce the best outcome for one individual, does not mean it does not produce something good for someone else. Instead of assuming one’s actions have no consequences on oneself or others, we should live by the Word of God and not just live for oneself, but for the good and happiness of others.

Are We Dreaming, Existing, or Both?

         Are We Dreaming, Existing, or Both?

    Dreams have been a topic of discussion for years. Numerous authors, poets, and psychologists have posed questions about dreaming and reality. The main questions seem to be: How do we distinguish between the two? How do we know we are not living in a dream world? In A Discourse on the Method, Renee Descartes attempts to answer these questions through The Dream Argument Section.
    Descartes’ most famous quote is “I am thinking, therefore I exist” (Descartes 28), but he also raises the question of whether we are can rely on the fact that we truly exist. We trust our senses because we rely on them for basically everything, but Descartes argues that the senses often mislead us. He says “neither our imagination nor our senses could ever confirm the existence of anything, if our intellect did not play its part” (Descartes 32), which compares the senses to our imagination. Imagination is not real; it creates scenarios for our enjoyment, but those scenarios are not rooted in reality, and he argues that the senses do the same.
    If we imagine we are in a burning building, our brain will join forces with our sense of smell to create the smell of smoke even though the building we are in is not burning, nor will it ever burn. The simple fact that a person can create such fallacies because of their faulty senses is astounding. Descartes states “they never raise their mind above the realm of sensory things and are so used not to think of anything except by imagining it” (Descartes 32), and unless we use reason to think through those situations, we can never know if we are truly awake or dreaming. We must question our senses in order to fully understand if we are perpetually dreaming or awake.
    Even though Descartes holds firmly to the belief that our senses mislead us and therefore we cannot trust them, he does believe in the God of the Bible and somewhat contradicts himself. He says “everything that is in us comes from Him” (Descartes 33), which contradicts what he said previously. If everything, including our “faulty” senses, comes from God, and God is perfect, then how can we reconcile the fact that we cannot trust something God created? God is the constant truth in our lives, and in Him, we base our sense of reality; basing our lives in the One who will never fail is the only way to ground ourselves. Descartes says that we must know without a doubt that “everything that is real and true in us comes from a perfect and infinite being” (Descartes 33), and the keyword here is “perfect”. Humans are not perfect, and we do have faults, but God is infinitely perfect, and we have to fully trust in His perfection. Descartes states “I decided to look for something more perfect than I was myself” (Descartes 29), and he knew that there had to be something outside of ourselves which is infinitely true and perfect. He found this infinite perfection in the God of the Bible.
    Once we have incontrovertible certainty and foundation in God, “it is a simple matter to determine that the things we imagine in dreams should in no way make us doubt the truth of the thoughts we have while awake” (Descartes 33), because the things in dreams can be true, just like in waking reality. Descartes uses the example of a geometer discovering some new proof. The geometer dreamed the proof when he was sleeping, and when he awoke, he proved it to be true. Just because he came up with the proof when he was unconscious does not make the proof any less real or true.
    Every thought we have must be rooted in the perfect truth of God since man cannot dream up anything God has not already created, and since God has already created everything, in reality, we can have full certainty in what we are thinking, feeling, or seeing. God would never intentionally trick us. John 8:32 says “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (ESV), and this is further proof that if we believe in God, we will never have to doubt whether we are awake or dreaming. If we know the truth, which is God, and we trust in the truth, then we will be free from the worries and questions we raise about reality. Descartes says “For after all, whether we are awake or asleep, we ought never to let ourselves be convinced except in the evidence of our reason” (Descartes 34), and the evidence of our reason is found in God. We can reason that because God is perfect, and we are made in his perfect image, we can trust our senses and differentiate between dreaming and reality.
    At the beginning of his argument against the senses, Descartes says that the senses mislead us because our imagination can join with our senses and make us perceive something that is not really there. However, Descartes goes on to argue his faith in God and how reason and the belief in a perfect being create an incontrovertible truth that nothing created by a perfect can be imperfect to the point of trickery. Therefore, because we were created by God, a perfect being, we must hold on to God’s constant presence and overwhelming truth to distinguish between dreaming and reality.

The Ultimate Fool

                                                                   The Ultimate Fool 

     We all have that one person in our lives who is never content with what they have. They’re so incredibly crabby and can’t possibly be satisfied. That big and expensive Ford truck they bought last year isn’t gonna cut it anymore because it’s not the newest and the best, so they beg daddy to buy them another one. Or they always take the last slice of pizza because they always have to have that last slice.

     In Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe, Dr. Faustus is that guy. He’s not content with his talents and intelligence that allow him to be a successful doctor. No, he wants more. More power. More knowledge. More, more more! His pride and arrogance lead him to the dark magic of Satan; he willingly gives his soul over to the Devil in exchange for evil power. Talk about irrational. Because of his growing discontentment and flawed rationale, Faustus makes the ultimate mistake: discarding all he knows and believes.

     In the beginning, Faustus ponders what to study because logic has seemingly failed him. Law, medicine, philosophy, all not good enough because they will never be able to make him as powerful as he wishes. He desires to “heap up gold, and be eternis’d for some wondrous cure” (Marlowe 3), but he decides that riches aren’t good enough either. He ultimately craves the power of a deity, a god. He wants to command “all things that move between the quiet poles” (Marlowe 5) and be the sovereign ruler over all. He says to himself “try thy brains to gain a deity” (Marlowe 5), and at this moment he signs himself up for failure.

     When Faustus begins this journey to ultimate power, he decides to give up everything and pick up necromancy or black magic. He says “These metaphysics of magicians and necromantic books are heavenly… these are those that Faustus most desires” (Marlowe 4), and goes on his tangent about becoming a god and ruling over everything. Then, the good and evil angel appear and give him contradicting advice. The good angel says “O Faustus! Lay that damned book aside, and gaze not upon it lest it tempt thy soul” (Marlowe 5), and Faustus completely disregards his advice, which is a huge mistake. The evil angel says “Go forward, Faustus, in that famous art… be thou on earth as Jove is in the sky” (Marlowe 5), and this is all Faustus needs to hear. The evil angel appeals to Faustus’ pride and Faustus eagerly accepts this advice. Faustus’ pride and arrogance begin to spiral out of control because he now has someone in his corner. He can continue his quest to become a deity.

     Later, Faustus meets Mephistophilis, a prince of hell, and asks Mephistophilis to grant him the necromantic power he desires. Mephistophilis quickly tells Faustus “leave these frivolous demands, which strike a terror to my fainting soul” (Marlowe 13), but Faustus will not hear it. He blatantly ignores Mephistophilis’ warning and advice to stop his venture because his pride and arrogance now controls Faustus’ every action. Faustus then asks Mephistophilis to ask Satan for his permission for Mephistophilis to serve Faustus and take Faustus’ soul.

     Mephistophilis agrees and returns from hell with Satan’s permission. When Faustus asks what Lucifer says, Mephistophilis replies “That I shall wait on Faustus whilst he lives, so he will buy my service with his soul” (Marlowe 20), and Faustus then drafts a contract written in his blood. This contract states that Fastus “may be a spirit in form and substance” (Marlowe 22), Mephistophilis shall be his servant and do and bring Faustus whatever he desires, and be invisible at all times. The most important condition, however, is that after 24 years Mephistophilis has the full power to “fetch or carry the said John Faustus, body and soul, flesh, blood, or goods, into their habitation whatsoever” (Marlowe 22), but Faustus doesn’t believe in a literal hell, so this condition doesn’t strike fear in his heart; he thinks this term is a good one and that it doesn’t really apply to him. He’s John Faustus, and nothing that bad can ever happen to him.

     Because of Faustus’ discontentment with his life, he makes a decision that he will come to regret. He sells his soul to the Devil and only gives himself 24 years to enjoy and enact this necromantic magic he wished for. Throughout the play, whenever Faustus makes a terrible decision his conscience wracks his mind with guilt, but he always chooses to ignore it and continue down the path of destruction. His pride and arrogance do not allow him to see the consequences of his actions, and that will ultimately lead to Faustus’ downfall.

Crime and Punishment....or Lack Thereof

Crime and Punishment….Or Lack Thereof

Imagine a world where the modern prison system ceases to exist: no jail time, no trials, nothing. Instead of trial by jury for heinous acts like murder and theft, those who commit these acts are sentenced to slavery. In Utopia by Thomas More, this type of judicial system, or lack thereof, exists. Because of this system of enslavement, the crime rate drastically decreases and Utopia’s citizens live better lives without fear of being harmed.

The main form of public punishment in Utopia is slavery, not the death penalty or prison. Why is that? First, More says “petty larceny isn’t bad enough to deserve the death penalty, and no penalty on earth will stop people from stealing” (22) and he quotes the Biblical commandment ‘thou shalt not kill’ as his main argument against the death penalty. He says “what’s to prevent human beings from similarly agreeing among themselves to legalize certain types of rape, adultery, or perjury?” (22) in regards to illegal killing (murder). He believes the legalized murdering of criminals breaks God’s law and therefore should have no place in society, especially a Utopian society. Instead, he proposes using slavery as the main form of punishment and uses Utopia as his main example.

Utopian society has no need for crime because all citizens live equally. More writes “everyone on the island wears the same types of clothes…and the fashion never changes” (55), the houses are “allocated by lot and changed round every ten years” (53), and “Besides farming which, as I say, is everybody’s job” (55). Each person has and does what every other citizen does.

The definition of slavery in Utopia is essentially a laborer who works slightly harder than the Utopian citizens and tend to perform the dirtier jobs within Utopian society.  More writes “slaves...they’re either Utopian convicts or, much more often, condemned criminals from other countries” (82), and what is really interesting is that the slaves are mostly from other countries instead of Utopians. This reinforces the idea that Utopia has no need for crime. Also, “Both types of slaves are kept hard at work in chaingangs, though Utopians are treated worse than foreigners” (82), and interestingly enough, Utopians are treated worse than those sent from foreign countries. Wouldn’t it make more sense that the Utopians be treated better than foreigners? In the modern world, yes, but in Utopia, foreigners are held to a higher regard than Utopians because of their inability to live and function in unity the way the Utopians do.

Slaves can also be the “working-class foreigner who, rather than live in wretched poverty at home, volunteers for slavery in Utopia” (82) because again, foreigners are held to a higher standard than Utopians. The Utopians main idea is “it’s all the more deplorable if a person…..still insists on becoming a criminal— so the punishment should be all the more severe” (82), and this goes for both Utopians and foreigners.  

However, there are certain offenses and crimes that fail to warrant slavery, but instead, invoke less severe punishments. If an ill or disabled citizen denies the “officially sanctioned euthanasia” (83) offered to them, and instead decide to commit suicide, the citizen “forfeit[s] all rights to either cremation or burial, and [their] body is just thrown unceremoniously into a pond” which is quite harsh. Those who commit adultery once are sentenced to slavery and divorce because Utopians view marriage as Christians do and “married couples are only parted by death” (84) except in the case of adultery. But, the married couple can choose to forgive each other and continue to live as husband and wife. Also, as More writes, “But a second conviction means capital punishment” (85), and this seems rather harsh.

In Utopia, Thomas More creates a perfect society where crime basically ceases to exist and the major form of punishment is slavery instead of death. The death penalty, or capital punishment as they call it, is only used in extreme cases like second-time adultery. Because of their unique justice system and their innate sense of equality, the crime rate drastically diminishes to almost nothing. Slavery, however, is not as severe as we picture it to be, and Utopians make up the minority of the slave population; willing foreigners make up the majority. Instead of living like modern society and severely condemning every mistake and penal crime committed by a Utopian citizen, the government system enslaves the convicted person with the hope or freedom after a long number of years. The Utopian citizens have no desire to commit crimes because of this system and because all Utopians live the same way and own the same amount of possessions.         

A Place of Ice (...And Fire?)

A Place of Ice (...And Fire?)

     When picturing hell, the first image that comes to mind is a fiery, scorching place of eternal torment. A place of pure agony. However, in Dante’s Inferno, the final circle of hell is ice cold. The phrase “when hell freezes over” is common;y heard, but what if hell was already frozen? In Dante’s Inferno, the ninth circle of hell is frozen instead of raging with heat like the rest of hell.
    Throughout the book, Virgil, our beloved poet, guides Dante through the agonizing journey through hell. They travel level after level, all fiery and scorching, full of eternal pain. Dante describes hell as “full of the cruelest punishments and pain”(Inf. 19.111) and “a sanctuary of pain”(Inf. 5. 16), which paints a grim picture. This is not a place you would want to dwell in. However, in the ninth circle, the description changes. Dante uses phrases like “terrible cold” (Inf. 32.23) and “so thick an ice veil” (Inf. 32.25) to paint hell as a frozen wasteland.
     As the dynamic duo reach the heart of hell, the inhabitants are completely imprisoned in ice. Dante describes the shades as being “all covered up in ice” (Inf. 34. 10), and this brings forth an image of desolation and utter despair. To be encased in ice is to be wholly wretched. Warmth is one of the main components of life, and while these shades are obviously not physically living, their spirits continue to dwell. No semblance of true life, living or dead, can be found in them. They are shells of what they could be. Even in the fiery torment of the circles above, the sinner’s physical bodies were visible as opposed to the shadow bodies of those in the ninth circle.
     We meet Satan in this circle and the constant flapping of his wings keep the atmosphere frigid. Dante says “and from his flapping raised three gales that swept / Cocytus, and reduced it all to ice.” (Inf. 34.51-52); Satan’s wings are gargantuan. In order to be able to move a river, and turn it to ice, there has to be an immense source of power, and Satan is the source. Baffled, Dante asks his guide why this occurs, but Virgil doesn’t deign to respond. He tells Dante that he will see in due time, leaving the mystery alive. They keep on walking. Later, Dante reveals that if Lucifer were to cease beating his wings, escape would be possible.
     One question still remains: Why is this circle of hell frozen as opposed to flaming?
     No definitive answer can be concluded, but there is a plausible reason. The farther down Dante and Virgil descend into hell, the farther away they become from God. The Father is the ultimate source of light and radiant heat, and the closer we get to Him, the “warmer” we become. Because the sinful refused to accept Jesus and the Father, their warmth vanishes. Satan, being the opposite of the Almighty, radiates ice and darkness.
     Because of the sinner’s wicked acts committed during their lives, they have cut themselves off from any sense of humanity and, ultimately, from Christ. The absence of their humanity, which was given to them by the Creator, creates a desolate, frozen wasteland forever encrusted in ice.
     Biblically, hell is described as a place of extreme heat and torment. Revelation 21:8 says “they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”, which introduces the idea of a fiery, sulfurous (rotten) location. Jesus also calls hell a place of “weeping and gnashing of teeth” in Matthew 13:50. However, is the biblical description literal or merely figurative like Dante’s description? Of course, we can never truly know what God meant when he inspired men to write these words and descriptions, but we can come to a simple conclusion: hell is torture.
     Dante’s description of hell seems to be focused more on the emotional and spiritual implications of their earthly sins and the punishments that coincide with those sins. Dante chooses to focus on the why and how behind the sins versus the physical ramifications after death. The Bible describes hell in terms of physical punishment and torture.
     Whether the torture is in the form of blazing fire as described in the Bible, or as a frozen wasteland as described in Inferno, hell is a place of pure and unforgiving torment. No soul ever wishes to experience the agony of hell, but, ultimately, actions speak louder than words where hell is concerned.

The Consolation of Introversion

I look around the room, and I freeze. So many people staring back at me. I can’t do this. I can’t speak; I’ll be ridiculed. I don’t have anything good to say anyway so it wouldn’t matter.

 

“Try to get out of your comfort zone and engage in the conversation.” Dr. Jacobs comments on my questions.

   “How can I?” I think to myself. “It makes me so uncomfortable and I feel inadequate.”

Suddenly, I see a figure in my peripheral vision. She has her hair in a bun, wide rimmed glasses and a slouchy sweater on.

   “Who are you?” I ask, terrified.

   “I’m Lady Introversion!” she says in an overly enthusiastic voice.

   “Funny, I thought you would have a quiet, soft voice.”

   “Well, aren’t you full of judgment,” she says.

I roll my eyes. “What are you doing here?”

   “I’m here to remind you why you are enough. Introversion is not some horrific monster. Just because you are scared to speak up doesn’t mean you are inadequate.”

I don’t know what to say.

   “Well, I have class in 30 minutes, so I guess you can tag along.”

   “Perfect!”

Again, that voice. I cringe.

Sitting in the spinny chair, my mind races.

   “Don’t give on to those thoughts. They’ll only bring you down.”

I sigh.

   “You’re introspective. That’s not a bad thing.”

   “But--”

   “You know yourself. That’s good. But don’t get caught up in who you think you are. Comfort zones are meant to be broken.”

   “Thanks,” I say, slightly annoyed.

Class starts, and the first question is posed. I say nothing.

   “Okay, next one I’ll answer.” I think to myself.

The next question comes, and I say nothing. Question after question is asked, and again I stay silent.

   “My question is: Why does he say this? What does it mean?”

   “Oh! I know the answer!” I think, elated.

   “Well…..”

The question gets answered, but I still have time to speak up.

   “Well, I think…”

I get cut off because I speak too softly. I give up.

   “Don’t be afraid to speak up!” she says softly.

That means nothing.



Class ends, and I head to work. I go to the back and get my register. Back up at the front, I encounter my first customer.

   “Hi! How are you? Do you have a membership with us?” I ask routinely.

   “I do! My phone number is….”

   “Alright. You can insert your card now.”

The transaction is almost over and I have to ask about the magazines. I loathe asking customers to try the 2 month trial of magazines. It makes me feel schmoozy. I look to my right and my coworker is selling it. He’s super engaging and energetic. But I can see the look on the customer’s face; they are not having it. He may be selling the magazines, but he’s going a bit too far. He needs to let it drop and let the customer leave.

   “See, you know when to stop talking and let the situation pass.” Lady Introversion says. “You don’t cross that delicate line between appropriate and inappropriate. You know when to stop talking.”

   I smile. “You’re right. I don’t make customers obligated to sign up for something they don’t want.”

   “Exactly! Your introversion lets you know when to back off and give space.”

The customer exits the store. I no longer feel bad about asking for magazines. I ask them what I’m supposed to and still engage with the program, but I don’t oversell. I'm not overkilling.



   “Hey, can I talk to you?”

I look over my shoulder and see my friend in the doorway.

   “Of course you can! What’s going on?”

   “Well, I want to go to transfer schools, but my parents won’t let me. But this school has my dream major, music production, and it’s the best in the country. This is my dream. Should I go ahead and apply, knowing I might get accepted or resign myself and stay here. I already gave up this dream when I decided to follow my parent's wishes, but I regret it. I’m terribly unhappy. What should I do?”

   “I know you don’t want to disappoint your parents, and that’s very respectful and courteous, but you have to think of yourself too. Will you regret the decision to go to a school you don’t love and major in something you can’t see yourself getting a job you love in the future? Think about that. I know it’s hard knowing you’re going to let someone down and make them angry, but it’s okay to follow your heart. The Lord put those ideas and feelings there for a reason.”

   “You’re right.” she sighs deeply, tears brimming in her eyes. “It’s just hard. I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

   “I know. But you have to decide. Do you want to finally do something that makes you happy and transfer, or do you want to stay and make your parents happy?” I look towards her, understanding written all over my heart.

   “I definitely have much to think about. Thank you for listening. You always listen, judgment-free, and give great advice.”

   “You’re welcome. You can always talk to me. About anything.”

I give her a reassuring hug. She leaves.

   “See! Introversion isn’t some horrible monster. You listen without interruption and people look to you for advice and as a shoulder to lean on. Not everyone can do what you can.” she says, leaning against the doorframe.

   “Thanks for making me feel better about being introverted. I needed that.” 

   “You’re welcome.”